All Of My Tomorrow’s

Today’s prompt from the Daily post: What keeps you awake at night?

 

All of my tomorrow’s keep me awake at night.  I like awake and wonder about things no matter how much I want sleep.  I toss and turn and turn again till I may as well remake the bed.  I’ve torn off all the covers with the crap inside my head.  You see, this is where I sleep but it is too where I dream.  It’s where I do all my major planning for all I wish and all I want.  Seem’s this time I need to figure a different way to use the time I’m supposed to sleep.  Sure, the time, I use wisely but I think I will set aside another time.  A time that I can dream awake and wish my dreams come true.  There’s one thing I no longer do.  I know longer think about you.

What Would You Do With A Million Dollars?

Today’s prompt from The Daily Post:  What Would You Do With A Million Dollars?

If I had a million dollars, I would invest some of it though I’m not sure how at the moment.  I would definitely talk to knowledgeable people so they could tell me.  Most of the money generated from the investment would be used as my children’s inheritance.

I would by my grandmother a small house and a new car. I would also take my grandmother on a trip to anywhere she wanted to go.
I would buy my home as well somewhere out in the country.  I would like to buy at least 100 acres and my grandmothers home would be next to my own.

I would take my mom and step-dad somewhere special because they always did the same for me.

I would write that book I am going to write one day.

I would take my kids to Disney World.  I would also take them somewhere out of the country either Germany or France.  I prefer Germany because I want them to see the things that I saw on my trip when I was 13 years old.  I would buy an RV so that myself and the kids could travel across the United States and camp at every national park .

I would also take my cousin Jane somewhere she has never been because she has never been out of Alabama but she would have to fly in an airplane. She and I would also take a trip to L.A.  I would also take her to a casino(so we could take a chance and try winning another million dollars).  She and I would try something that we have never tried before like bungee jumping or jumping out of an airplane but holding onto someone else.  Then, we are Hawaii bound baby!  When I vacation in the South of France, she’s going with me.

The rest of it I would start a non-profit organization that had to do with senior citizen or nursing homes and group homes for mentally challenged adults and children.  They would also have internet access so that they could learn the computer and send photos of themselves on Bingo night to their family and friends.

Then I would hope and pray for the next million!!!!

What would you do?

How To Recognize Signs of Emotional Abuse?

The unbalanced emotions you feel can take place so gradually that emotional abuse often goes unnoticed.  Unless you have been a victim of emotional abuse yourself, you will not recognize in your friends or loved ones relationships.   Psychological Abuse goes both ways.  A man may experience emotional abuse as can a female.

How do you know if you are being emotionally abused?

1. Are you ridiculed for spending time with your family and friends?
2. Continues to hurt you ESPECIALLY when your down?
3. If your loved one seems full of energy when you are fighting but it exhausts you, you are a victim.
4. Are you ridiculed and insulted then told you can’t take a joke?
5. Does your loved one put on a friendly face?  Well liked by the outside world?
6. Are your words twisted then used against you?
7. Ridicules your beliefs, religion, race, heritage, or class?
8. Criticizes, call you names, yell at you?
9. Humiliates you in private and in public?
10. Ever hit or pushed you even “accidentally?”
11. Left you stranded?
12. Abuse something you love:  A pet, your child, an object?
13. Harass you about imagined affairs?
14. Threatens to leave or throw you out?
15. Try to control your decisions, money, the way your wear your hair, or makeup?
16. Compliments you enough to keep you happy, yet criticizes you enough to keep you down?
17. Questions your every move or motive, somehow questioning your competence?
18. Makes you feel like you can’t win?  Damned if you do, damned if you don’t?
19. Tries to convince you he/she is right and you are wrong?
20. Incites you into a rage as proof you are to blame?
21. Sex is demanded or expected regardless of how you feel?

Your situation is CRITICAL if you are always walking on eggshells, express your opinions less often, you feel vulnerable and insecure, trapped and powerless, your afraid of your partner, and has hit you one time.

Talk to someone you trust.  Talk to Clergy, call your local battered women’s shelter, educate yourself, and seek professional help.  Emotional Abuse often leads to battery.  DON’T LET IT ESCALATE!

Click Here for Domestic Violence Information (American Bar Association)

What’s The Most Trouble You Have Ever Been In?

Today’s prompt from The Daily Post:  What’s The Most Trouble You Have Ever Been In?

Oh my God.  Are you for real?  Which time?   My mom reads my posts.  Not to mention my sweet, sweet sister who has not ever been in any trouble.  I was the rebellious child.

Thinking back to my childhood years, envisioning several minor yet, noble incidents like the time I whipped that kid in the neighborhood for calling my baby brother a name.  Then, there was the time that I got caught sneaking out.  That doesn’t include all the countless times that I snuck out and didn’t get caught.  Andrea Schmoller and I had made so many prank phone calls one day that her dad’s phone was cut off just until he came home though and could talk to the phone company.  There was this other time that was really bad.  The terrible, horrible, notebook incident that caused my mom to go into labor with my baby brother Matt. In my mind, I am seeing the event.  The one I am trying to avoid……….

I am really very ashamed still to this day and I am 41 years old.  I did most of my growing up in Lilburn, Georgia.  When we first moved there from Alabama, my parents rented a house while they had one built.  We finally moved into our new home.  The house was inside Cambridge Farms Subdivision.  It was a stuffy neighborhood at first.  You know the kind where you didn’t step in another person’s yard because your going to hurt the grass or something.  I don’t know.  My mom and dad(step-dad) were married in the new home.  The house was large.  It was beautiful.  To my mom, the house signified her own accomplishments.  My mom is the best role model a girl could have had growing up.  I am proud of her.

This particular summer I had to go to summer school.  I would not finish in time to begin our family vacation.  Everyone was on their way to Hilton Head, South Carolina.  I would have to stay behind and finish summer school.  Afterwards, I would fly to Hilton Head to meet up with the rest of the family.  My dads parents were also in Hilton Head it was to be the first time that we met them.  They were from New York.  They were to come back to Lilburn with us to see the new house.

The day my family left my parents were going to take me over to a friend’s house where I would stay until summer school was complete.  My dad had taken great pains to be sure the windows of the house were locked and secured.  He even placed chairs under the door knobs for extra protection.  Having already schemed a plan with Karen and Leigh I told my parents that I had forgotten something inside the house as we were backing out of the driveway.  So my dad pulled back up and handed me the house key.  I went inside and unlocked the back door and removed the chair from under the knob.  Picked up my bag I had pretended to forget and out the door I went.

It was only supposed to be a small party with 3 girls and 3 guys.  Leigh and her boyfriend decided to go get some Boone’s Farm.  Unbeknownst to me, they also went by Green’s Corners which was the hangout spot and put the word out that there was a party.  Back at the house, I began to wonder where they had gotten off too.  I looked out the front door and my jaw dropped to the floor.  The longest line of cars that I had ever seen in my entire life that was not part of a funeral procession was coming down the road in our nice new neighborhood.  People started filling into our home.  I didn’t know what to do.  I was 16 years old.  There were people from 4 of the surrounding schools 2 of the schools were major rivals.  There were 150 people in my parents new home.  Things were out of control so bad that at one point I started to call my parents.  The police came out twice.  The third time everyone was asked to leave.  The house was destroyed.  I feared for my life.

My friends and I tried to fix what we were able.  We nailed down the carpet back to the stairs that led to the upper level.  We were able to find the covers to the fire alarm people had taken off the walls.  I had tried to find them all night.  You could hear them going off all through the house that night.  We cleaned the white carpet.  You can’t clean the cigarette burns from the carpet.  Nor, did we have enough know how to fix the hole in the wall in my sisters bedroom.  We placed a picture over the hole.

Having flown to Hilton Head Airport, I caught a cab to the beach house.  The trip to Hilton Head was the longest trip.  The cab ride alone seemed to go on forever.  I didn’t have the guts to tell them there………..  and this is where I will end this post.  I think I will call my mom and thank her for allowing me to live……   : )

 

My Top 10 Guilty Pleasures

Last night, I went to hang out with two friends who are very near and dear to me.  I ended up spending the night at their house.  This morning a pang of anxiety hit.  I love these two people but I started longing for home.  Finally, it hit me.  Every night, I put the kids to bed and afterwards take a long hot bubble bath.  I lay there and float till the water cools.  I let the water drain partly out and refill with the hottest water along with more bubbles.  I asked my friend if she minded if I take a bubble bath know she did not care.  As I layed there in the tub, I relaxed.  My anxiety went away.  What I did not do was use the hottest of water and fill their tub twice.  I would not dare.  The idea strikes me that my nightly bubble baths are one of my guilty pleasures.  Urban Dictionary defines a guilty pleasure as something a person enjoys often while said person morally believes the practice to be wrong, abnormal, improper, or incorrect.  I’m not sure I like the definition.  If we enjoy doing something, we should not feel guilty about it.   Right?

What are some of your guilty pleasures?  Here are 10 of mine.  I wonder if any of yours are the same as mine?

1. Taking my nightly bubble bath as I described above. This is by far, my most favorite guilty pleasure.  I could probably cut our water bill in half  if I did not refill the tub.  It is just so relaxing.
2. Facebook and Zynga Texas Hold em Poker. My day is not complete till I check Facebook and the house is quiet enough to get in a few hands of poker.
3. Working out in my living room at mid-night half-naked. I do not know what it is that appeals to me about this nightly ritual but I cannot help myself.
4. Chocolate Milk. I try to only eat 1000 calories per day.  Yet, I can’t seem to resist some good ol Chocolate milk.
5. Sleeping naked on the weekends. When my kids are at their dads house on the weekends.  I am sleeping butt naked.  I love it,.
6. AcroChallenge I play this game in the adult room only.  I love this game and have to have daily dose.  I play in the adult room.  The game gives you some letters.  Everyone types in a dirty sentence then votes for the best.  It gets crazy.  For example:  tham  Tonight, Hump At Moms.
7. Panties and Lingerie. I love my panties and soft silky lacy lingerie.  I will buy these before I buy clothes.
8. Blue-Grass Music. People think I am insane.  Who cares?  I love it!
9. Knee High Toe Socks.
10. Sleeping late. I do it every chance I get!

These are mine!  What are yours?

Valentine’s Day is not Just For Lovers

Happy Valentine’s Day!  I hope you have the best day ever!

My fondest Valentine memory was one that I spent alone.  I could not begin to tell you what Joe Blow gave me this year or that.  I spent part of last night trying my best to remember.  The only one that I could recall was one I spent alone and I pampered myself.  It was wonderful!  Therefore, I am going to do something different this year.  Today, I am going to make sure my grandmother does not have one thing in her house that she needs doing.  She is Queen for the day.  I want her to feel special.  She is special.

I think today would be the perfect day if everyone did the unexpected.  Today is not just for lovers but for everyone special in our lives.  So, I am going to share the love.  Here are some of my idea’s:

1. Call an old friend that is special to you and tell them Happy Valentine’s Day.  If it is possible, take them a card.
2. If you know someone is spending the day alone or they do not have a significant other, send them flowers or a card.  Send both and do not sign the card.  Make them smile.
3. Take your nieces, nephews, or cousins out for ice cream.  If you know a child who has had a tough time this year, take them.
4. Surprise an elderly family member with a gift.  Especially if they are in a nursing home.  Would you not just love to see their face light up when balloons were delivered?  Deliver the gift in person.
5. You may know someone who has lost a close family member or child, be sure to send them a some candy and a card today.

The possibilities are endless.  The best way to make sure a person does not feel alone on this day is to let them know they are special.  Make them smile.  Include your children in sharing their love with someone.  Have them give their siblings a card.  Let them be a part of making a difference in someone else’s life so they can learn how wonderful it is to give.

Make someone smile today and create a memory that will warm their hearts forever!

Cool, Inexpensive, & Creative Ideas for Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.  If you are like me,  you have waited till the last-minute to buy that special someone a gift that expresses your love.  Money is tight there is no doubt about that so what is one to do?  Every guy in the world has to hate tomorrow or at least get jittery about how he should express his love.  Guys if you can afford to just go all out you should and send her a bouquet of balloons, flowers, and chocolates(her favorite kind of course) to her at work.  Have you ever been on the job and every delivery of roses you see you think to yourself, “are those for me?”  You feel your chest rise because you are holding your breath.  The delivery guy passes on by taking them to a co-worker and you let out your air.  There is no greater feeling than for that delivery to be for you. If money is tight, you still have plenty of options just use your imagination.  Girls if Valentine’s Day is for lover’s then why not try surprising him for a change?  At any rate, I have put together a list of some inexpensive and cool ways to express your love.  I hope it helps you!

1. Music makes the world go round.  Why not say it in a song?  Burn a CD that means something for him/her.  Be sure to use songs that you know they like and not corny ones.  This way every time they pop that CD into the stereo and listen to it they will be thinking about you!
2. Record yourself reciting a poem that you wrote for your special someone to listen to on the way to work.  If the idea of writing a poem is unheard of to you, then check out the 10 greatest love poems of all times.  She will be impressed that you even knew the poem.
3. Have a winter picnic in front of your fireplace.  If you do not have a fireplace, prepare a nice dinner complete with candle lights.  Start conversation by telling your Valentine how thankful you are to have them in your life.  Then reflect on your fondest memories of one another.
4. If you have trouble expressing your feelings, write them down in a letter to your loved one.  Was it love at first sight?  When did you realize you were in love?  What do you hope the future has in store for the two of you.
5. Frame a photo of the two of you.
6. Run away for the night.  Who cares where?  Go parking.  Re-create your first date.  Run away together then decide.  spontaneity is great!
7. Leave little love notes everywhere for him or her to find during the day.  Call them every other hour and recite silly limericks or love quotes to them.  Make your lover smile.
8. A single rose that is hand delivered by you with a kiss is so much more effective than a dozen sent to the office.  Hold for a moment and tell her you love her.  Wow!
9. Create your own spa and spoil and pamper each other.  Use plenty of oils and give each other a full body massage.  Who knows where this may lead?
10. Go to the river and slow dance with each other till midnight or at least until the sun goes down.  If it is too cold where you live, park by the water and listen to music and just talk while you share a bottle of wine.

The most important thing to remember about Valentine’s Day is that the day should mean something.  Tomorrow is not the day you should lavish her with expensive gifts and then you work late at the office and forget about it.  Valentine’s Day is special and so is your lover.  The person you love should be pampered and treated like a King or Queen tomorrow.  Your expressions of love should come from the heart.  Show that person how much you love them by letting them know they are your world.  It does not matter what you go out and buy.  The greatest gift of all is each other.  Let them know.  May everyone have the best Valentine’s Day ever!

Self Pep Talks of a Single Mom

Funny how it wasn’t until I had kids of my own that I began to understand my parents.  I used to think they were the most crazy, insane, inhuman people who I had ever known.  In a way, I suppose they were because when it comes to your kids you will be what ever or who ever you have to be to protect them.  I know this now.  Looking back, I understand the decisions my parents made with me– the ones that I just did not, could not, and would not fathom back then.  I see their actions with a whole new vision and I think to myself, “Wow!  Now that is love.”  Some of the choices they made ha d to be the hardest things a parent could ever have to do.  Yet, they did it.  No matter how bad it hurt them or much they did not want to.  They did it for me.  That is unconditional love.  That is what my own kids will look back upon when they have kids of their own.  They, too, will reflect back and say, “She love me more than I ever realized.”  Yes, one day they will look back the same as I did.  That is, if I do not end up killing them myself first.  You pay for your raising do not ever think that you don’t or won’t.  You do.  You will.  But, you know what?  This is how we develop character.  Life has its funny little ways of working things out.  Kids are a blessing.  Mine is well worth every minute and every second of every day.  There is no doubt in my mind of that!  I think I will pour a glass of wine and toast to every future gray hair they create for me.

Random Thoughts on Life

Life can be so crazy sometimes.  You never know where it may lead or what is going to happen next.  Yet, we take the good, the bad, and the ugly and keep on keeping on.  At times,  it is insanity.  Hell, sometimes I am insane.  I remember when I was 18 years old.  I was sweet, nice, and polite,  I did not drink, curse, smoke, and had never taken any drugs.  What happened?  Life happened.  I never dreamed the firs person to call me a fucking whore would end up being my husband!  What did I do?  I sat down and cried.  I was so hurt not to mention stunned.  I had to get tough.  Sometimes, we all have to.  You let that punk bastard call me that same name today and see what I do for him.  He knows better.  Our marriage ended up in divorce–thank God.  That was in 1998 and I always said that I would never get married again.  I went ape wild for a while but now that I am older and I think of the future.  I get scared.  I get scared at the thought of being alone.  When my kids grow up and leave home to star lives of their own.  I will be alone.  I do not wan to be.  But, I am not going to settle for less than I deserve.  Because somewhere lost inside my soul is that same 18-year-old girl.  I am still the same person but a lot wiser and a lot less naive.  I want to love and be loved and I only want the best a person has to offer.  I am sick of all those bottom feeders.  I want it all and after some of the craziness life has thrown my way –I deserve it damn it.  I do.  Everyone does.  Life is what we make it.  We have all been told at one time or another not to sit back and let life happen.  You have to make it happen.  That is so true.  You only live this life once.  So make life happen and live out loud.  No one is promised tomorrow and you can never be sure what will happen next.  So live your life to the fullest.  Trust me.  I learned all of this the hard way but it is never to late.  Love your life and live it!

What It Means To Be An American

I’ve always been patriotic so to speak.  I feel compelled to share with you a book that has been introduced to me by my American Literature Instructor Dr. Linda G. Raughton.  W. Cleon Skousen’s book “5000 Year Leap” is sure to shed a whole new light on the true meaning of being an American.

At first reading, I felt the familiar sense of pride which turned to “my God what have we done and how do we fix this?”  The book is about the 28 principles that our founders based the Constitution upon.  The principles were based on Natural Law or God’s law.  The principles may seem a little outdated but they have a proven track record.

It all began in Jamestown where Communal Economics was first experimented  with and 200 years later in 1776 the global experiment of Free Enterprise Economics had prevailed with phenomenal results.  A list of achievements had been produced that contributed to leaps in science, politics, and economics.   According to Skousen, ” in 200 years the human race had made a 5000 year leap.” 

Sometimes prone to duplicate errors of the past, we muddled our lives with drugs, riots, and terrorism among other things.  “Social decay has a harmful effect on the freedom and prosperity that had been given to us.” 

  How do we began to reform?  Education is a good start.  Read the Constitution in its original form.  Read Skousen’s “5000 Year Leap.”  You will be glad you did.  I thank Dr. Raughton for sharing the book with students.  It has shed new light to the real meaning of what it means to be an American.